Smile through pain :)

It was the second day of my period yesterday. Insane bleeding, throbbing menstrual cramps, and mood swings paid me a visit again, all at once. I wasn’t feeling so good mentally either....got knocked out in the pre-final round of interview with McKinsey. My heart felt out of sorts and my brain was totally clogged - so much that I wasn’t able to decide on my order for dinner. Once my meal arrived, I quietly wept while gobbling down those dosas. Amma was staring at me, shocked, for I’m a person who only gets delighted at the sight of food. We had gone shopping in the busy streets of T Nagar. The jostling crowd did a really great job testing our patience levels but we somehow managed to finish our shopping getting past every hassle. Completely drained, we fetched a bottle of water and booked an Uber.

Our Uber driver was a really sweet and a cheerful woman. Not only did she make our entire ride memorable, but also made me realise what actually matters at the end of the day. She initially asked us if she could make a pit stop to get some tea, for she was having a splitting headache. We told her to take her own time and to have her tea peacefully. She came back in a jiffy and kept her chit-chat going for the rest of our ride.

My mom asked about her spouse’s occupation, to which she said, “He’s working as an electrician, abroad”. When we chuckled, she said that her husband had abandoned her and that she has been raising her two daughters on her own. She elaborated on everything she went through for the past three years, driving auto for almost 12 hours a day and managing her household all by herself, her commitment to her daughters’ studies and clearing a huge debt single-handedly. What made it even more interesting was her quoting Vadivelu dialogues every now and then, lacing her painful and traumatic stories with witty humour. And thus, without us even being aware, time fleeted away and we reached our destination. We paid her a little more than the actual fare, to be a small part of making the rest of her dreams come true.

That conversation taught me to view things from a different perspective, to smile through pain and to focus on the big picture, rather than fretting about what cannot be reversed. If there are crests, there sure would be troughs. All we could ever do is move ahead, hoping to get on a crest again !

God men or Con men ?

How many of us would actually agree with the fact that most of the evil practices that encircle our society are sanctioned by spiritual leaders?

Not many of us right? That is exactly why I chose to blog on this topic !!!

I have often wondered why people actually need a spiritual leader in the first place and I eventually figured out that the answer lies in the question itself. It is because it is easy to fool a believer than to fool a non-believer. We are innocent people who are cajoled into believing that we are living a sinful life and that we are in immediate need of soul cleansing and spiritual healing.

We house opportunists for whom nothing else but money matters. These opportunists claim to perform miracles to relieve us of our pain and sufferings which we might not even have in the first place but yes……. they make us believe that we do !!! Even an idiot like me would get a hang of their marketing technique. It is the first rule of MBA…If you want to sell your product, you make your consumer believe that they need it even when they don’t !

None of the saints who lived before preached or lived a life of luxury. Be it Sai Baba, Guru Nanak, Mahavir Jain or Gautam Buddha, they all led a very humble life and taught us to be better humans and help the less fortunate. Centuries ago, we used to offer food and clothes as ‘dhaan’ to them and now we take pride in offering jewellery and money to the idols of these holy men. If these men were disinterested in material things when they were alive, how can they be interested in extravagant gifts after their demise? Also, when they were against this practice, then, why is it even a practice? 

According to the spiritual leaders of modern day, these offerings by disciples are not what the idols or institutions demand for but a mere symbol of people’s faith and devotion. If that is the case, why do the religious places have huge boxes for monetary offerings? So, they basically conditioned our minds to give offerings. Now, they ll claim that a part of the monetary offerings is required for maintaining the place. Fair point...But if religious places are exempted from taxes and receive benefits from government, only a small amount is required for maintenance. So, what happens to the remaining sum of money? Is it actually utilized for helping the less fortunate? In some cases yes but in most of the cases… NO! That is the reason why people like Ram Rahim Singh, Asharam Bapu, Sri Ravishankar and Baba Ramdev are super rich without even working for a single penny.

Few months ago, people of Haryana revolted in opposition to a verdict that was delivered in favour of a victim….People supported Ram Rahim Singh only because he is the chief of a spiritual cult. He was no messenger of god but a monster who had castrated his male followers and raped most of his female followers. What did we do to him? We offered him an airlift from court to prison instead of decapitating him. How did we defend his act of rape? By calling it Pitaaji’s maafi (father's mercy). Swami Nithyananda’s Sex Tape, Swami Paramananda’s Sexual assault, Swami Divyanand’s sexual exploitation are testimonies to the fact that most of the God men in India are into the business of prostitution, selling sex in the name of Tantra, preaching celibacy while having orgies. They are no god men but fraud men who are selling enlightenment by materializing God.

It is okay to have faith but it is not okay to get blinded by faith....It is high time that we stop believing and following these ‘holy men’ because it will save time, money and help us focus on things which require our attention the most. No one has or will ever attain nirvana by helping opportunists get richer. If you really want to make a difference and gain good karma....help the needy, stop wasting food and resources. Let yourself be controlled by humanity and let humanity be your religion. 

Be god loving and not god fearing because no God condones fear !
 

Voice of a single mother

I am sorry but you weren't there to fight for me when people pelted stones at me, called me a whore, bitch, a skank and slut !
But you should have been there.

I am sorry but you weren't there to support my parents when people mocked them for raising a shameless daughter like me.
But you should have been there.

I am sorry but you weren't there when the mark of our love was growing inside me.
But you should have been there.

I am sorry but you weren't there to hear the first cry of our princess when she entered this world.
But you should have been there.

I am sorry but you weren't there to sing a lullaby to our baby when she used to cry all night.
But you should have been there.

I am sorry but you weren't there to hold our princess' hand when she used to trip and fall as she learnt to walk.
But you should have been there.

I am sorry but you weren't there to wish her "happy birthday" when she turned one.
But you should have been there.

I am sorry but you weren't there when people questioned me about my marriage and the father of my daughter.
But you should have been there.

I am sorry but you weren't there to protect our princess when the entire world humiliated her by calling her an "illegitimate".
But you should have been there.

I am sorry to say that you will always be my princess' father but you will never be her super hero.

I am sorry to say that you will always be my first love but you will never be the man who I lost my heart to.

Dedicating this to the most fearless woman I've ever met !!

Daughter of Iraq

Mayada Al Askari, a divorced mother of two, was leading a simple life managing a business that involved printing brochures. Her life gets capsized when she is falsely accused of printing anti-government propaganda. Despite having no idea of what her crime was, she lands up in cell 52 of Baladiyat prison. She meets women from all walks of life who shared the same fate of imprisonment, torture and had been condemned guilty without a trial. Nothing they said or did made a difference. 

Mayada led a comparatively comfortable life in Iraq because her family had ensured that she was educated and independent. Her mother was quite a powerful person in Iraq until she decided to move to Amman. Mayada had also come in contact with Saddam Hussein during the early times of his political career and he had even admired the articles she wrote when she was a journalist. However, nothing prepared her for life in Iraq’s so called "concentration camps". She encounters Samara, a strong, selfless and loving woman whose story would open up your tear glands :)

The women spent their time in jail talking about their stories and the way in which they ended up in the boot camp. They loved to hear about Mayada’s life story and her tales about the famous people she had met and Saddam Hussein and his wife were of particular interest. 

Most of the "Shadow Women" had no idea of what wrong they had done to land in jail. Only after repeated torture did they realize what was assumed to be their crime. The most distressing part was that their families had no idea of what happened to them because they weren't given a chance to call or let anybody know.  Despite all the torment and torture, the caring and concerned nature of her fellow inmates touched Mayada. 

The sufferings of Mayada, Samara and other “shadow women” in cell 52 is unimaginable and their will power to survive is something that has to be lauded. Hit continuously with a whip, beaten up, burned, electrocuted, raped and what not....I could hardly believe that they managed to survive for months....

I wasn't able to get done with this book in a single go for the story induced a queasy feel in me..... I quivered in horror at the description of their sufferings but was also touched by the compassion they held for eachother.

Even after her release, life wasn't smooth for Mayada for she not only bore the physical scars of her torture sessions but also hoarded memories that her mind simply couldn't get rid of.....Mayada found her way out of prison (thanks to the connections her mother had) but what about the other shadow women who were in cell 52 ???
Did they get killed by Sadam's monsters or they managed to save their lives ??? Mayada herself doesnt have a clue of what happened to them.........The desperation to know if your loved ones are alive is worse than death itself !!!!

The world is a vicious place for innocent people wanting to live with family and friends. All they want is happiness :)

Is that too much to ask for ?

Life lessons

Try not to think

What makes your heart sink,

Try not to drink

Post a sesh with the shrink,

Try not to stay confined during the day

Because of what people say,

Try not to stay

Pave yourself a way,

Try not to sleep

After making someone weep,

Try not to feel

The pain before you heal,

Above all,

Try not to be

Someone the world wants to see.

Devdasi system

Hello again!

I’m back here and I honestly haven't gotten the right time and headspace to get back to writing, but something kept nudging me to write about this tonight. And so, here I am, with a cup of coffee at 11PM, penning down my piled-up thoughts.

Flesh trade masked under the veil of Devdasi system is an abhorrent and shameful practice that is followed in our country.  It is nothing but yet another crime that is sanctioned under the name of religion and tradition. Devdasi system is an age-old custom where in a young girl is married to a deity even before she attains puberty. They were forbidden from a real marriage and had to devote their life rendering service to gods. They were considered to be the reincarnation of courtesans in Indra's court and the presence of a devdasi in occasions was considered auspicious because she was considered to be a nithya sumangali (a woman who is forever free from widowhood). But later on, devdasi system became the reason for the existence of modern day prostitution.

Devdasi system was abolished in the 1880s, thanks to the efforts of Dr.Muthulakshmi Reddy but it is still prevalent in various parts of India. Even to this day, it is common in the Eastern part of india where in parents marry off their daughters to deities to avoid giving dowry.
Factors like caste system, male domination and economic stress resulted in them becoming prostitutes. Some devdasis are too young to even figure out what is happening to them and nothing can be more painful than getting kicked out by your own parents. They are not allowed to marry anybody else and are not supposed to step foot out of the temple. In the morning, they spend their time cleaning the temple and sanctum, decorating the shrines, dancing, singing and pleading to gods to put an end to their never-ending sufferings. During the nights, they are forced to transform into prostitutes to quench the thirst of priests, upper caste and high profile men. The daughter of a devdasi becomes a devdasi again and the tradition keeps going on and on. They face discrimination on the basis of caste, suffer from poverty, mental trauma and even become victims of HIV.

Women caught in this system are deprived of basic freedom and opportunities, enduring significant social stigma and economic instability. If only there is a way to eradicate this practice in regions where it is still prevalent and support these women in reclaiming their rights and dignity :)

She was forced into flesh trade,
Her innocence stolen, 
Dreams betrayed,
Wanted the practice to be slayed,
But found her hopes fade,
For the ones who preyed,
Never let it bade.

 

Criticism

Over exposure to criticism triggers fear, anger, shame and above all, it feeds one's insecurity. To all the morons out there who judge people based on external appearance (including the ones who cast their votes for Trump because of his dislike for black Americans) and demean people who lack external beauty, What ecstasy do you get by doing so? The answer to it: laughter for a few seconds, satisfaction of demeaning a person and a chance to blow your own trumpet about being the descendant of cleopatra :P 

The girl who you called a brownie is now layering foundation and talc all over her body. The girl who you used to bully for being full figured, she is now starving herself and is relying on low-fat food supplies. The boy who you called short is now drinking glasses of complan. The boy who you tagged useless because of his failure has now given up on all his efforts.

Women are subject to criticism for the way they look because people think that beauty is one attribute that defines a woman. Well, beauty is indeed an attribute but its the inner beauty, wit and charisma.

And who on earth propagated the ungodly theory that black isn't a sign of beauty and that having a dark complexion means that he or she isn't worth anything at all ??
Lord Vishnu is dark himself and he chose to be dark in all his incarnations. Draupadi, the world's most beautiful woman of Dwapar yug was born dark. USA's former first man was a black and being full figured did not prove to be a hindrance for the success of Kathy Bates !

So what prompted me to blog about this in particular ? My own personal experience :) 

My skin is naturally brown and I'm the only girl with a dusky Complexion in my group. One of my friends told me that I looked akin to a negro. And this is how I dealt with her foul perception....After 5 minutes of feeling ashamed of the melanin count that my genes had bestowed upon me, I walked up to her, had my eyes (devoid of shame) fixated on her. A tinge of fear dilated her pupils and I was sure that she figured out I was going to blast her right there in the middle of the crowd. With my voice full of serenity, I went up to her and told this:

"Sweetie, you were busy spending hours at the parlour last weekend to get a facial done and didn't finish your record....you owe me a thanks because if it wasn't for this negro who let you copy the record, you would probably be out of today's lab. Also, I took this on a light note...If you ever call a black American or African a negro, you could get jailed for it....So, just be mindful of that and file it under "stuff to remember" :) 

MY INSPIRATION
So, what was going through me when my friend called me a negro ?
Dejection, shame, anger hit me and I felt my self esteem go considerably down. And then, I thought about all the people out there who were the victims of racism and the image of Priyanka Chopra flashed. She was bullied for being dark and was given the nickname "brownie" during her schooling. I remembered her interview that was telecasted when she catapulted to stardom for her hollywood debut "Quantico". She admitted to being a victim of racism and stated that all those tantrums did affect her but she chose to face them instead of moping about them. That sowed the seed of standing up to people and I summoned my courage to face my friend !

So....guys....Be like Piggy chops !
Be like Me ;)