Stay !

Hey guys,

I woke up to a throbbing migraine this morning and called in sick. Slept like a dead log till afternoon and I finally feel a lot better !

Today marks the end of the #NaPoWriMo and I was really keen on writing something.

Back in the end of March, I promised myself that I'd write everyday this month but come on, when have I ever managed to stick on to promises like that 😅

Thanks to FSP2Z being a schedule driven project and the unrealistic deadline set for the IFC package of piling contract, I found myself always pressing for time. Nevertheless, I resorted to writing atleast once a week.

Okay, That's enough ranting from my end...Don't hit the close button without reading the poem now !

Here it goes... Presenting to y'all today's poem "STAY" (Remember when young Murph tells Cooper to "stay" in interstellar ? - It's the same emotion here as well) 

Stay,

For I know this wouldn't last,

You and I, would be a dream,

And the dream would fade,

When night meets the day.

Hold on to me,

Like the leaves on a flimsy branch,

Dangling to the tunes,

Of the distant wind.

Cos anytime now we'd have to part,

And when the time comes,

You'd be gone.

Our dreams would be washed,

But hey, this moment, where you and I,

Keep stealing glances,

Between silent conversations,

Would be etched in our hearts,

Till the end of time !

So....Stay,

Stay with me and let us be.

P.S: Just because I write stuff, doesn't mean I sail through it. A writer can also draw inspiration from other people...So, don't flood my WhatsApp chat window with messages like 'Oooooooh....you finally found the love of your life, is it ?" 

And goodbye for now....pip pip !

A Heartfelt Gesture

In a world where the pace of life often leaves little room for genuine human connection, it's heartening to come across stories that remind us of kindness that exists among us. Today, I want to share one such story that reaffirmed my belief in the goodness of people.

It all began on a typical day, much like any other. My friend offered me a ride to work. Grateful for the convenience, I accepted without a second thought, little realizing that this simple gesture would soon unfold into something extraordinary.

As we navigated through the morning traffic, conversation flowed effortlessly between us, punctuated by shared laughter and the sound of melody streaming through the car’s speaker. It was a pleasant start to the day, filled with warmth.

As we reached the familiar sight of our workplace, my friend pulled in his car so I could step out. I hastily stepped out of the car because of the commotion induced by persistent honking of another car that was right behind us. 

I got off the car in a flustered state of mind and just as the door clicked shut behind me, a realization dawned—my phone, my lifeline to the world, was still nestled on the dashboard of my friend's car.

Panic surged through me like a tidal wave as I frantically searched for ways to contact him. With each failed attempt to reach him, my anxiety mounted, threatening to overwhelm me.

Desperate for a solution, I retreated to the familiar sanctuary of my desk, fingers trembling as I navigated to his Instagram profile over web, hoping against hope that he would see my message.

Little did I know that my friend had embarked on his own mission to get my phone back to me. He had been trying to reach me through WhatsApp with the hope that I would check WhatsApp Web.

Given I couldn’t log on to WhatsApp web without my phone, his messages didn’t reach me and with no option left, he decided to hand over the phone to me in person. The building's security, wary of unfamiliar faces, hesitated to let him in. Yet, he persisted, his conviction unshaken as he tried his best to get my phone back to me.

Having lost hopes of hearing back from him in Instagram, I was pondering over other ways to reach out to him when a sudden ring from my desk phone jolted me back to the present - It was a call from the security desk. With a racing heart, I answered the phone, bracing myself for what I might hear.

"Hello?" I said, my voice tinged with a mix of apprehension and anticipation.

"Hi, this is the security desk," came the calm voice on the other end of the line. "We have a gentleman waiting outside. He says he has your phone. Could you please come to collect it ?"

Relief flooded over me like a wave crashing onto the shore. I hurriedly made my way to the entrance of the building, guilty of having caused so much trouble to him.

As I stepped outside, I saw my friend waiting patiently - he had his phone pressed close to his ear, engaged in what appeared to be an important phone call. Despite this, he glanced up briefly, a reassuring smile lighting up his face as he signaled me to grab my phone.

The fact that he made a selfless decision to come all the way from his office in Chennai’s sweltering summer heat despite having a meeting on his schedule, touched my heart in ways words can't express.

As I returned to my desk, with my phone in hand, I couldn't help but wonder about the lengths to which people would go to ensure someone’s well-being and happiness :)

A quote

My eyes strained as they darted back and forth between piping isometrics and the endless rows of numbers on the spreadsheet. Extracting stress loads from the piping restraint summary was proving to be more daunting than I had anticipated. My brain was on the brink of a meltdown and every piping iso seemed to blur into a nonsensical whirl....Quite literally !

I casually checked the time on my computer and it was already ten past four, which is our usual break time...With a swift click, I pinged my friends over teams and hit windows + L. 

As we were waiting on our order for butter croissant and chocolate twister from Tryst, we resorted to lamenting about the never-ending tasks that lay ahead of us. 

The order finally arrived and as we dived into it like we were competing in the olympics of snacking, my friend asked me,

It is hard to write poems, isn’t it?

I smiled;

For I knew,

That poetry can never be forced,

They just flow,

In the course of life,

With the depth of feelings.

In response, I quoted the following lines that I read a while ago....

Poems aren’t hard to write, 

But the hardest poem is the one, 

That is written inspite of knowing

That it will never be read.

As I finished quoting that line, she appeared just as affected by the significance of those words as I was. She was about to ask if I had written one such poem when I cut her short saying it was 4.25pm already and we had only 5 minutes to make it to the meeting on time. We headed back to the lift lobby to retreat to our desks, ready to take up what was in store for the remainder of the day !

Crash to Courage

Thanks to NHAI and its poor maintenance of roads, I met with an accident that left me hospitalized, grappling with pain and uncertainty. Despite the hefty toll deducted from FASTag account of commuters, there are still highways that are akin to a lunar landscape with potholes that resemble moon's craters :)

                 

The accident inflicted a dual toll, as I dealt with physical pain of injuries coupled with lingering mental trauma. Each step towards recovery was a delicate balance between healing the body and soothing the mind....While medication worked its magic on my body, my mind remained restless with no outlet. That's when I retreated to writing, using it as a tool to divert my attention and find mental relief. 

Presenting to y'all one such snippet I penned down while I was resting on my hospital bed ! 

Broken visor, sirens wail,

Memories flash, like a trail.

Visuals of the street block,

Haunt me round the clock.

Yet hope flickers, a distant spark,

Guiding me through this dark.

Mumma was around, her warmth was near,

Papa's healing words, wiped every tear.

I realised it was just the shock,

That I'd have to come out of like a rock.

With every passing day, I find my way,

Amidst the chaos, come what may.

Fear

Back here after six looooooooong years.....Time to publish all those random rants that I had translated to words, one post at a time !!

 

I fear to fall asleep,

For my dreams are dark and deep.

I fear to wake,

Given a lot of things are at stake.

I fear the fall,

For I would end up losing all.

I fear the rise,

In this world, which is a game of dice.

I fear the mock,

For I am nothing but a laughing stock.

I fear to love, I fear to hate,

I fear to give in to my gruesome fate.

I fear life, I fear death,

I fear my being with every breath.

But there's something that I don't fear,

Sticking close to the ones that are dear.

Smile through pain :)

It was the second day of my period yesterday. Insane bleeding, throbbing menstrual cramps, and mood swings paid me a visit again, all at once. I wasn’t feeling so good mentally either....got knocked out in the pre-final round of interview with McKinsey. My heart felt out of sorts and my brain was totally clogged - so much that I wasn’t able to decide on my order for dinner. Once my meal arrived, I quietly wept while gobbling down those dosas. Amma was staring at me, shocked, for I’m a person who only gets delighted at the sight of food. We had gone shopping in the busy streets of T Nagar. The jostling crowd did a really great job testing our patience levels but we somehow managed to finish our shopping getting past every hassle. Completely drained, we fetched a bottle of water and booked an Uber.

Our Uber driver was a really sweet and a cheerful woman. Not only did she make our entire ride memorable, but also made me realise what actually matters at the end of the day. She initially asked us if she could make a pit stop to get some tea, for she was having a splitting headache. We told her to take her own time and to have her tea peacefully. She came back in a jiffy and kept her chit-chat going for the rest of our ride.

My mom asked about her spouse’s occupation, to which she said, “He’s working as an electrician, abroad”. When we chuckled, she said that her husband had abandoned her and that she has been raising her two daughters on her own. She elaborated on everything she went through for the past three years, driving auto for almost 12 hours a day and managing her household all by herself, her commitment to her daughters’ studies and clearing a huge debt single-handedly. What made it even more interesting was her quoting Vadivelu dialogues every now and then, lacing her painful and traumatic stories with witty humour. And thus, without us even being aware, time fleeted away and we reached our destination. We paid her a little more than the actual fare, to be a small part of making the rest of her dreams come true.

That conversation taught me to view things from a different perspective, to smile through pain and to focus on the big picture, rather than fretting about what cannot be reversed. If there are crests, there sure would be troughs. All we could ever do is move ahead, hoping to get on a crest again !

God men or Con men ?

How many of us would actually agree with the fact that most of the evil practices that encircle our society are sanctioned by spiritual leaders?

Not many of us right? That is exactly why I chose to blog on this topic !!!

I have often wondered why people actually need a spiritual leader in the first place and I eventually figured out that the answer lies in the question itself. It is because it is easy to fool a believer than to fool a non-believer. We are innocent people who are cajoled into believing that we are living a sinful life and that we are in immediate need of soul cleansing and spiritual healing.

We house opportunists for whom nothing else but money matters. These opportunists claim to perform miracles to relieve us of our pain and sufferings which we might not even have in the first place but yes……. they make us believe that we do !!! Even an idiot like me would get a hang of their marketing technique. It is the first rule of MBA…If you want to sell your product, you make your consumer believe that they need it even when they don’t !

None of the saints who lived before preached or lived a life of luxury. Be it Sai Baba, Guru Nanak, Mahavir Jain or Gautam Buddha, they all led a very humble life and taught us to be better humans and help the less fortunate. Centuries ago, we used to offer food and clothes as ‘dhaan’ to them and now we take pride in offering jewellery and money to the idols of these holy men. If these men were disinterested in material things when they were alive, how can they be interested in extravagant gifts after their demise? Also, when they were against this practice, then, why is it even a practice? 

According to the spiritual leaders of modern day, these offerings by disciples are not what the idols or institutions demand for but a mere symbol of people’s faith and devotion. If that is the case, why do the religious places have huge boxes for monetary offerings? So, they basically conditioned our minds to give offerings. Now, they ll claim that a part of the monetary offerings is required for maintaining the place. Fair point...But if religious places are exempted from taxes and receive benefits from government, only a small amount is required for maintenance. So, what happens to the remaining sum of money? Is it actually utilized for helping the less fortunate? In some cases yes but in most of the cases… NO! That is the reason why people like Ram Rahim Singh, Asharam Bapu, Sri Ravishankar and Baba Ramdev are super rich without even working for a single penny.

Few months ago, people of Haryana revolted in opposition to a verdict that was delivered in favour of a victim….People supported Ram Rahim Singh only because he is the chief of a spiritual cult. He was no messenger of god but a monster who had castrated his male followers and raped most of his female followers. What did we do to him? We offered him an airlift from court to prison instead of decapitating him. How did we defend his act of rape? By calling it Pitaaji’s maafi (father's mercy). Swami Nithyananda’s Sex Tape, Swami Paramananda’s Sexual assault, Swami Divyanand’s sexual exploitation are testimonies to the fact that most of the God men in India are into the business of prostitution, selling sex in the name of Tantra, preaching celibacy while having orgies. They are no god men but fraud men who are selling enlightenment by materializing God.

It is okay to have faith but it is not okay to get blinded by faith....It is high time that we stop believing and following these ‘holy men’ because it will save time, money and help us focus on things which require our attention the most. No one has or will ever attain nirvana by helping opportunists get richer. If you really want to make a difference and gain good karma....help the needy, stop wasting food and resources. Let yourself be controlled by humanity and let humanity be your religion. 

Be god loving and not god fearing because no God condones fear !